Why do I keep loosening those boundaries that are necessary to keep my peace a priority?
In an era that emphasizes good mental health and self-care, it can seem counterintuitive that we occasionally loosen our boundaries with individuals who aren’t good for us. These decisions can lead to frustration, emotional turmoil, and feeling disoriented. So, why do we do it?
According to PsychCentral , “boundaries are the line between where I end and you begin.” As we all know, that is easier to say than put into practice. Yesterday I accepted an invitation with someone I had spent the last few weeks separating myself from, knowing their company didn’t serve me. That decision caused me grief and quick regret.
So again, why did I do it? It’s not that I forgot the feeling of the toxic behavior or the emotional drain from their constant criticism. I didn’t, but I have learned to not associate my worth and potential based on the association and words of others. I have the wisdom to keep my distance next time. I can forgive and forget and make the most out of the given situation and not create a moment that isn't serving.
Loosening boundaries doesn’t mean you have to tolerate negativity or toxic behavior. It’s about finding a balance that allows for growth and understanding without compromising your well-being. Loosening boundaries doesn’t mean abandoning self-care or compromising your values. Instead, it’s about fostering a space for understanding of yourself and those around you and deepening connections with someone you might not have related to. I have found over the years that the anxiety of maintaining strict boundaries creates internal conflict for myself, leading me to fears of judgment or misunderstanding from those I would rather not connect with.
By approaching relationships with empathy, communicating openly, and focusing on supportive connections, I can create a healthy relational relationship landscape. Of course, this doesn’t work for all relationships. Some boundaries are better kept rigid. It’s perfectly okay to prioritize your mental and emotional health while navigating the complexities of human connections. I just encourage you to embrace the journey of self-discovery, and allow yourself the grace to grow through your relationships.
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